This memorial website was created in loving memory of Chuck. He was taken from us on July 24, 2005 at the age of 23. Chuckie was charismatic, warm and compassionate with a big heart. Everyone who met him loved him. He could "work a room", shaking hands with all present, feeling comfortable speaking to everyone. He was loyal to friends and loved his family.
He leaves behind his mom and dad, his sister, Erin, and brother, Christopher. We will miss him for the rest of our lives and love him forever.
The Broken Chain We little knew that morning, That God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone. For part of us went with you, the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide. And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side. Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same; but as God calls us one by one, THE CHAIN will link again.
CHUCKIE'S STORY ~ The Tragic Effects of Drugs on Families ~ told by his mom with a power point presentation of Chuckie's life. If you would like to schedule a presentation for your high school, youth group or rehab center, in the Roxbury NJ or Charlotte NC areas, please contact Mari Beyer at beyer5@hotmail.com
Sadly, we have to say goodbye to our Uncle Tom. Please visit his website, created in loving memory.
Chuckie had a passion for hockey! To honor this passion we have set up a yearly memorial scholarship given to the college bound senior in Roxbury who plays hockey with the most passion.
1ST YEAR AWARD: Congratulations to Brandon Davis, the first recipient of the Chuckie Beyer Memorial Scholarship. Brandon has a passion for hockey as well as a passion for people and we were pleased to be present when the scholarship of $1500.00 was awarded to him, March 16, 2006. When Brandon was a squirt, he was coached by Coach Chuck (Chuckie's dad) and Coach Dave (Andrews). He is remembered as a quick skater with good hands. More importantly, he was a fellow Ranger fan in a sea of hated Devil fans!
2ND YEAR AWARD: Congratulations to Michael Batchelder, one of the goalies for the 2006/2007 team. An intense Devils Fan, :( he truly deserved the recognition. A true asset to the organization with an incredible amount of poise and a great attitude.
3RD YEAR AWARD: Congratulations to Michael DeFeo, Senior Defenseman and Captain. Michael completed his final year of high school ice hockey with his most impressive year both offensively and defensively. Primarily a stay-at-home defenseman, Michael was one of the most reliable defensive players. As a regular member of the power play unit,his ability to move the puck at the point was important in helping his team capitalize on power play points!
*Please share your memories of chuckie with us. To honor him, light a candle. To share your memories and Chuckie stories, click on Tributes. Please feel free to also upload your pictures of him, as it would mean so much to us to see them. God bless you all for caring about him and always remembering him with us.*
We Do Not get over our grief by forgetting, but by remembering.....
Another Thanksgiving without you... / Mom
And so the holidays keep coming and going. And the pain of your absence is always present. Holidays are painful reminders that you are no longer with us. We hold onto the wonderful memories of yesterday, when our family could sit and eat togeth...
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Hey Chuckie, I am coming to your grave... / Mom
Dad and I are on our way to NJ. I look forward to visiting your grave and laying a Christmas wreath. Maybe that's odd that someone looks forward to being at a grave, but I feel there is a connection to you there. I know the "you" of who you...
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hey chuckie, boy do I miss you.... / Mom
I don't often take the time to look at your pictures, because looking at them and listening to Josh Groban sing, just overwhelm my heart with sadness. The holidays are coming up, and while most people love them, they are a source of sadness to ...
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Your Missed Chauncey / Keith Nucifora (Friend)
Chuck, I cant believe its just over 3 years your gone now bro......... When I heard what happened I didnt didnt even believe it. I had just talked to you hours prior. You were actually supposed to come watch the Netcong Assumption Fireworks wit...
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Saddened when i heard / Julian Jean (friend/classmate)
I was saddened when I heard of your passing today man. I couldn't believe it. I too have lost love ones early in life, i'm sure your missed by many. You seemed like such a good hearted person in the short period of time i knew you.
Chuckie, Why did God bring you home? Chuckie, why did God take you from me? I ask and ask and get no answer. I prayed for your healing from addiction, as did so many others. I know God could have healed you. He healed others with addictions, why not you? When I lost Trisha at birth, I asked God why. My life-long belief of God's blessing on my life was shattered with my pain. I had always believed that if I was obedient to God, He would bless me. All I had ever wanted in life, God had given me up till then. Trisha's death made me realize I could not put God in a predictable, understandable box and that my conforming to His image was more important to Him than my happiness. I did come up with an answer as to why God took Trisha. Maybe it's simplistic, but I believe it to be true. Dad only wanted 3 kids. You, Erin and Chris were meant to live, Trisha was not. So, now, again, I ask God, why you? Why God, did you call my Chuckie home at the age of 23? I get no answer. My faith is shattered again. I do believe God's ways are higher than our ways, and God does not have to explain Himself to us. Yet, as Christ asked 'why' on the cross, we too, can ask why. I do know God was not surprised by your death. He did not say to you at Heaven's door, "What are you doing here Chuckie?" The Bible says all the days ordained for us are written before we come to be. God knew the when, where and why of your death. But all of us who are left behind with our grief and pain, are trying to keep going and trying to learn how to live without you. As you know, Chuckie, I am reading and reading, books on grief and mourning; trying to figure out how to keep living with this pain. Reading books by parents who have also lost children. How did they get through this? What have they learned? What has helped? I have learned I will never get over my grief, just learn to live with it. The loss of you is a permanent ache in my heart. I may smile or laugh again, but the memory of you is always right below the surface, waiting to shine forth in my tears. One thing I have read that has helped is that God gives each of us a task to accomplish, lessons to learn. If we are still alive, we have not completed our task. After our lessons are learned He calls us home. What was your task, my sweet son? If it was to love and be loved, then you have accomplished your task well. You have heard the words, "Well done, good and faithful friend". If God had asked me to choose between having you bring me joy (and heart-ache) for 23 years, but then you would die and leave me in unbearable pain OR to never have you at all and be spared the pain, I would choose you over and over again. THANK YOU GOD, FOR THE GIFT OF 23 YEARS OF CHUCKIE.
Growing Up Chuckie was born 5 weeks early, January 8, 1982, almost as if he knew his life would be short, so he wanted to get started living as quickly as possible! He weighed in at 6 pounds 4 oz, had trouble breathing at first, but God was working even then, allowing him to leave the hospital when I did. He loved sucking his thumb(both of them), twirling his hair, and adored his big sister Erin. When Chris came along 2 years later, he enjoyed being the big older brother. This was true till the day he died, no brothers could have been closer. He spoke early. At 15 months his first sentence was, "NO, Mom NO!" I should have known back then I was in for trouble! Chuckie was truly a charmer. His extraverted, outgoing personality won the hearts of everyone who met him. He was very bright and intelligent, and at the age of 4 understood God enough to ask Christ into his heart, to forgive him of his sins. He grew in his faith from then on. He played soccer for the Roxbury Express, goalie, and was amazing, but his heart and talents really showed themselves in his hockey career. I will let his dad write about this, since he remembers every play in every game, while I only know I loved watching him play and that he was great!
His Drug Use No story of Chuckie's life would be complete without telling about his drug use. I share these details, not only to remember the good as well as the bad, but also in the hope of helping the friends he had, who also are addicts. I will not mention your names, but you know who you are, and I pray for you. Chuckie wants you to know that life is worth living and life is worth fighting for. I began to see signs of rebellion at the age of 15, at which time I believe the drug use started. Yes, we warned him about drugs and the genetic pre-disposition in our family. He assured me that as an athlete, he would never use, as hockey was too important to him. Yet, I continued to see rebellion, but did not find out for sure he was using drugs till he was 17, right before his senior year in high school. I read a letter from his girlfriend, chastising him for getting high on pot every night. We confronted him about them and I told him if he didn't stop, he could no longer live in our house. He said good-bye and left. For 2 weeks, I had no idea where he was, only to find out later that some of the nights he was sleeping outside at the Kennedy School. My heart ached to see him and know he was ok. Every car that went by me, I looked to see if he was in it. Finally he came home. We got the school involved, for which he never forgave me, but he began going to Treatment Dynamics. He then tested positive for cocaine and was thrown out of the program. This began a series of counseling and outpatient programs to help him, but he could not give the drugs up. In March of his Senior Year he was thrown out of high school. My heart was broken. This meant no Senior Prom, no graduation. Chuckie then went into a 30 day treatment program in Pennsylvania, Clearbrook. He was able to stay clean for awhile and we were able to enroll him in a prep school in Maine, Bridgton Academy, where he went in the fall, and graduated in 2001 with a high school diploma. When he got home, he enrolled in County College of Morris, but I was soon to find out that his drug use had progressed to heroin use. I remember him crying to me, "Please help me mom". My heart was broken. I found a Christian Treatment Program in Arizona, Calvary Center, where he went for 30 days. I was soon to learn that whenever he came back to Roxbury the draw was too great, and soon enough, he was back on heroin. Once again, he was thrown out of the house. It was during this time that he met and fell in love with beautiful Sherri. Sherri saved his life numerous times, for which I will be forever grateful. In the Spring of 2002, I knew in my spirit that if Chuckie did not get help and get out of Roxbury, he would die. I told him I would get him help, anywhere he wanted to go. He told me Florida. I immediately got online and found him a 30 day treatment program in Lake Worth, Florida, Genesis House, but told him he couldn't come back to Roxbury. I also found him an apartment down there for when he got out, and Sherri went with him. He was able to stay clean down there for the 18 months he was there. He met some great friends, played street hockey, worked as an electrician's assistant and I wish he had stayed there. He probably would still be alive today. Unfortunately, he missed his friends and family in Roxbury and moved back, October 2003. On New Year's Eve, 2003, I caught him snorting heroin in his room. His drug use had begun again. Soon after he moved into Oakwood Village with Sherri. In June of that year, Tommy offered him a job at Professional Appraisals in Summit, with the Hope of getting his college education, becoming an appraiser and moving up in the firm. Chuckie began working there, (he loved it), taking classes at Union Community College and essentially was a functioning addict. But as much as he wanted to give up his drug use, he could not. In October he got admitted into Summit Hospital for 3 days, and began using methadone shortly thereafter, unbeknownst to me. Methadone takes away the desire for other drugs, and Chuckie told me, it helped him to feel normal. I do not know why, or what the trigger was, but sometime in May 2005, he began to use every drug he could get his hands on, and this was the beginning of the end. There were a series of car accidents, multiple arrests for DUI, an overdose episode where he was hospitalized with his stomach pumped, a drug-related physical attack, where some dealers from Newark jumped him, plus a number of other overdoses, where he refused to go to the hospital. Because of his legal issues, his lawyer recommended treatment, so he reluctantly agreed to go to detox in Florida,for the methadone, then into a treatment program in Texas. While in Texas, 2 weeks before his death, he told me on the phone, "Mom, the drugs are going to kill me." I cried and cried. I feel like he had given up hope and knew he would never be able to stop. For the first time ever, I also gave up hope that he would be healed from this addiction. My heart was broken and it was a very desolate feeling. Because of an injury he had sustained to his hand when he was jumped, he left the Texas program 2 weeks early with the hope of getting medical treatment. Perhaps if he had stayed the whole month, he would still be alive today. Only God knows the answer to that. Regardless, he came home from the program July 15th. Chris moved back in with him in his Parsippany apartment. On the eve of July 23rd, he had heroin, methadone, oxycontin and toxic levels of xanax in his system. When he went to sleep that night, he never knew it would be his last night on earth. When Chris woke up July 24th, he found Chuckie not breathing, called 911, tried to get him breathing, called me, and my wonderful son Chuckie met Christ face to face. Our hearts are forever broken. The drugs took his body, but not his soul. Rest in Peace my sweet, beloved son.
His Faith Chuckie is now in Heaven with Christ. Not because he was a good person or because he tried living a good life. He resides there only because at the young age of 4 he understand God enough to believe that if he asked Christ to come into his heart, to be his Lord and Saviour and to forgive him his sins, he would be saved. . Chuckie prayed that prayer and was forever sealed with the Holy Spirit. He knew that the blood of Christ washed all his sins away, including the sins of addiction. For anyone reading this who does not know Christ, who is afraid of dying, Chuckie wants me to say to you that he is ok, he is in Heaven with his beloved grandfather and his sister, Trisha, and that if you sincerely pray that prayer, you too can know that you are saved and going to Heaven. Write to his mom at beyer5@hotmail.com and she will answer any questions you may have. Chuckie will be thrilled that some good came out of his death, and he will enjoy greeting you at Heaven's door, whenever that time might be.
Tributes and Condolences
